It's A Pirate's Life For Me
I’ve opened a Pirate Shop. The Lanky Lubber is on a rickety old ship moored on the Thames. It stocks everything a wannabe pirate could desire, from live parrots with eye patches to ridiculous false beards (that come with a free tube of superglue).
For a small fee our on-site dentist can knock out your front teeth with a mallet, and for those seeking the fashionable peg-leg look we can even arrange for one of our skilled surgeons to hack your leg off, while you wait.
Children and adults alike will love Captain Blackfoot’s Booty Trail, in which participants race up the rigging in search of a shiny pound coin hidden in the crow’s nest. Losers are made to walk the plank. No mobility buggies please.
If you’re planning a romantic evening out why not visit our atmospheric restaurant, the Diseased Parrot, where the diners are shackled to blood-soaked wooden benches and all the food is covered in maggots?
I’m going to invite all British MPs to a special open day and then scuttle the ship. Aharrrgggh matey etc…
Wot a savvy idea Long John, beats gunpowder. And Lanky Lubber night sounds
so much more exciting.
Does the food come with Ketchup or is that an extra. Also, are the hacked
off legs given away free.
Will the MP's scuttling be on the tele.