Ashmash
Half Year Feast
posted Wednesday, 2 July 2008
Yesterday was the mid point of 2008 and (like most people) we celebrated with the customary Half-Year Feast.
For the uninitiated, Half-Year Feast traditionally comprises half a pork pie and half a bag of chips, washed down with half a pint of stout. The dessert is usually half a strawberry drowned in half-fat cream with half a tablespoon of sugar sprinkled on top, although the strawberry is optional.
With its half portion theme the feast is ideal for dieters. Yet inevitably the supersize culture has found ways to satisfy the gluttonous whilst staying within the rules; this year our butcher was advertising a pork pie that even when sliced in two is ‘at least as large as your head, guaranteed’.
Obviously the feast can only be shared by two people, if there were four each person would only get a quarter of a meal, which would be ridiculous.
Tradition dictates that the entire meal has to be consumed within half an hour. If it isn’t you can expect the rest of your year to be completely ruined. In 1939 my great grandmother took thirty-two minutes and within three months Hitler had invaded Poland. If only she’d given the strawberry a miss…
For the uninitiated, Half-Year Feast traditionally comprises half a pork pie and half a bag of chips, washed down with half a pint of stout. The dessert is usually half a strawberry drowned in half-fat cream with half a tablespoon of sugar sprinkled on top, although the strawberry is optional.
With its half portion theme the feast is ideal for dieters. Yet inevitably the supersize culture has found ways to satisfy the gluttonous whilst staying within the rules; this year our butcher was advertising a pork pie that even when sliced in two is ‘at least as large as your head, guaranteed’.
Obviously the feast can only be shared by two people, if there were four each person would only get a quarter of a meal, which would be ridiculous.
Tradition dictates that the entire meal has to be consumed within half an hour. If it isn’t you can expect the rest of your year to be completely ruined. In 1939 my great grandmother took thirty-two minutes and within three months Hitler had invaded Poland. If only she’d given the strawberry a miss…
comments (2)
1. Iver Berry left...
Thursday, 3 July 2008 1:52 am
Obviously your Great Grandmother like to suck the old Strawberry. So you
cannot blame Hitler for that.
May be you should blame your Great Grandfather and his old Strawberry????.
2. Andrew Goulding left...
Friday, 11 July 2008 11:24 pm :: http://lamejokesinc.blogspot.com/
Perchance you could do some research and see whether your great
grandmother's tardiness also influenced Hitler's other moves into Austria &
Czechoslovakia.